


How to Embarrass Your Daughter in Four Easy Steps

by Candyoranges



Category: Eureka (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Especially when you're a teenager, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Parents are so embarrassing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 13:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16119920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candyoranges/pseuds/Candyoranges
Summary: Did parents get a guide on how to most effectively embarrass their kids? Because Zoe was pretty sure her dad had made it his life’s goal to be as embarrassing as possible.





	How to Embarrass Your Daughter in Four Easy Steps

**Part 1 – The Boyfriend**

“What’s going on here?” 

Zoe scrambled to sit up as her dad’s voice rang out from the doorway. _Shit._ He was supposed to be on call for another two hours. Next to her, Lucas awkwardly tried to straighten his shirt and not trip over his feet as he quickly stood up.

“You’re home early,” Zoe tried to deflect, but was met with an unimpressed look from her father.

“Yeah, good thing too,” he said meaningfully. He turned to Lucas, commanding “Out,” while pointing at the door. 

“Uh, yes sir. Sorry, sir.” Lucas stammered as he scurried to the door, cringing away from her father’s glare.

Zoe groaned. Even if she wasn’t grounded from this, it would probably take weeks before Lucas was willing to come over to her house again for fear of being caught by her dad. Why did her father have to scare away every boy who was interested in her?

Being a “cop’s kid” sucked, _especially_ when it came to her dating life. Her dad was ridiculously overprotective and made sure to remind every potential boyfriend that he carried a gun and had the power to arrest people. (She was pretty sure shooting an unarmed teenager was still illegal, regardless of whether they were dating his daughter.) It had gotten even worse since moving to Eureka where everyone in town knew the sheriff, and more than one cute boy had cancelled or turned down a date because of her father’s embarrassing habits. 

Lucas, though, had managed to stick around despite all of her dad’s threats and “I’m watching you” gestures and other absurd posturing, and she was not going to lose him because her father was being unreasonable! Unfortunately, Lucas was going to jumpy around her now for weeks, waiting for her dad to pop out of nowhere and catch them again. 

And it was all her father's fault.

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**Part 2 – The Rumors**

Zoe sometimes thought that her dad made it his mission in life to embarrass her as much as possible – as if the other night hadn’t been bad enough! As sheriff of Eureka, he was usually in the center of whatever events went down and thus also the center of the rumors that followed. 

This week had involved Fargo accidentally setting GD on lockdown – while her Dad had been arguing about something in Stark’s office. It had taken several hours for Henry and Allison to reverse the problem and when the all-clear finally came through, her dad had apparently come flying out of the director’s office like a bat out of hell. 

Speculation was crazy about whether the two men had ignored each other the entire time or gotten into a giant screaming match (since the surprising lack of black eyes or bloody noses meant they at least hadn’t started throwing punches). Of the two options, Zoe was betting on the latter given the awkward and embarrassed look her dad sported whenever he refused to talk about what happened. 

Of course, since her dad (and presumably Stark also) refrained from actually saying what happened, people were coming to _her_ – as if she knew what crazy thing her father had done. She expected it from her friends and from Vincent, but if one more near-stranger tried to subtly interrogate her while ordering coffee she was going to pour the carafe over someone’s head.

_No, her dad hadn’t mentioned anything to her._  
_No, he wasn’t limping or sporting odd bruises._  
_No, he hadn’t been grinding his teeth more than usual._  
_No, he hadn’t been grumbling threats of revenge over his coffee like some cartoon villain. (Seriously?!)_

If she was going to be stuck hearing everyone gossip about her father, could he at least do something less embarrassing?

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**Part 3 – The Video**

When she saw her classmates gathered around their tablets and laptops watching something that included her father’s voice she knew it must be video evidence of her dad’s latest escapade. _Really? Once this week wasn’t enough?_

Nobody warned her about the clothes-dissolving foam that was involved though, and now not only could she not unsee that image of her father, but all of her friends and classmates had seen a video of her father naked. Luckily, Dr. Stark had procured a blanket from somewhere and bundled him off to GD quickly for decontamination whereupon the video cut off, but the five seconds of exposure was more than enough to scar her for life.

Of course, the humiliation couldn’t stop there. Oh, no. Her classmates wouldn’t stop talking about it _for the entire rest of the day_. Every period contained fresh giggles and the sound of her father’s panicked yelp as someone replayed the video, again.

As annoyed, horrified, and embarrassed as she was, it still pissed her off to overhear derogatory comments about the “the bumbling sheriff” or “Sheriff 111.” Since she was not in the mood to have to defend her father’s (naked!) actions today, however, she mainly just tried to tune everyone else out. Consequently, it wasn’t until sixth period that she realized it was So. Much. Worse. 

_“Ooh, Sheriff Carter’s pretty fit for an old guy!”_

_“Oh yeah, did you see those muscles?”_

_“That’s not all I saw! Damn, he’s really packing some heat, if you know what I mean!”_

Zoe turned in horror towards the giggling coming from the back of the room. They did not just say that. Hell. No. Her classmates, her peers, could not possibly be speculating about her dad’s sexual attractiveness.

She could get away with skipping seventh period, right?

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**Part 4 – The Boyfriend: Redux**

Zoe just wanted this week to be done. After everything that had happened, from the Lucas thing to the naked thing _(ugh!)_ , she wanted to stay away from her father for a bit, hoping that would save her from further embarrassment. (Not that it had saved her from the last two incidents.)

She had been planning to have sleepover at Pilar’s, _(“Yes, dad, no boys allowed”)_ , where she could vent about all her dad’s mortifying behavior and just relax. So, of course, Pilar had come down with a bad stomach virus and looked to be spending the evening either vomiting or passed out. Resignedly, Zoe had gotten a ride home from Pilar’s mom, and decided that she was going to go to her comfortable bed and hide under the covers for the rest of the weekend until this blasted week was over.

As she quietly opened the door, Zoe noticed the lights in the living room were dim, so she assumed her father had already gone to bed. _Good. One less chance for him to embarrass her._

With a startled shriek she realized she spoke too soon as her dad’s disheveled head popped up over the back of the sofa with a panicked look in his eyes. 

As she rounded the piece of furniture she shook her head at him. “Did you fall asleep down here waiting for me to... OH MY GOD!”

Instantly she spun around and slapped a hand over her eyes, but it was too late to unsee the image of her father, half-naked and scrambling to cover himself. (Was this better or worse than the naked video? That was full naked, but at least it was an accident. This was her dad half-naked _with someone else!_ ) 

“I did not see anything. I did not see anything. Oh my god. Oh my god.” The hand on her shoulder startled her out of her frantic repetitions.

“Uh, we’re decent. Weren’t you staying at Pilar’s tonight?”

Zoe peeked open one eye, saw the black cotton of her Dad’s t-shirt, and cautiously opened the other eye.

Both her Dad and Dr. Stark were pink-faced (she hadn't known Stark was even capable of blushing) and avoiding eye contact. Part of her wanted to know how the two men had gone from a yelling match earlier in the week to _this_ – but the rest of her _really didn’t want to know. Eww._ She was going to need so much therapy from this.

On the other hand, this might be great leverage in renegotiating the “no boys on the couch” rule.

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End file.
